Needing Breathing Space

My blogging has seriously tapered off recently.

hmm... That feels like an understatement.

My blogging has laid down at the top of a grassy hill on a late summer day, pitched itself over the crown and is still rolling towards the bottom.

I've contemplated quitting because it feels like there's only so many ways to say "Lyn's disease is progressing" or "she's getting worse" or "another skill was lost."  There's no miracle cure that will extend her life.  There's not been a lot of progress on the research front.  Drugs are tested and found lacking when applied to people.

Is this ennui due to the reality of Lyn's progression or is it due to all the other stuff that's taking up brain space.  Who knows?  The kids are back in school (finally!) and the unending "what homework do you have today" questions have begun.  Three years of work at the office is in transition as the beta period is ending and clients are going live with the software.  This brings a new level of client support into the picture.  The news for the past year has gotten to me.  I come home at the end of the day exhausted.

I find that I need a bit of breathing space.  I'm trying to not look at the news so much.  I'm not getting into debates.  (If you know me, that's a pretty significant statement.)  I'm taking some time to explore some other skills.  I'm nearly done with my second queen-sized quilt with fabric queued up for three more much smaller quilts.  I'm painting a little more and just told my husband I want a loom for Christmas.  I think I'll even finish a cross stitch this week too and have made progress on a crochet blanket.

This too shall pass.

In the meantime, please feel free to ask some questions or suggest topics.  I'd be happy to respond and write if I just didn't have to think up the topics myself.  


  1. I recognize your feelings as ones I had myself at one point in my Dad's disease: "I'm tired. Tired of the continual downward spiral. Tired of seeing my loved ones exhausted from caring for Dad. Tired of feeling exhausted myself. Tired of all the bad news."

    The "new normal" every day never was good news, only bad. I knew intellectually that we were in a "phase", but it seemed that we were always in a phase and that this one would never go away.

    Then something would suddenly happen to change things and I would realize once again that there was new grief ahead and no end to the tunnel of exhaustion and depression, and that the stress I was feeling just continued to build. Caretaking is the hardest loving you will ever do.

    All I can say is be kind to yourself. If you don't feel like blogging, don't. Those of us who have been through it understand. There will come a day when you have something to say and you will say it. And as much as we hate to think about it, there will come a day when it's over and it will be time to start healing. No matter how slowly it comes or how much we anticipate it, it will be a shock.

    God bless. We are all keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

  2. Bravo for tapering off on news! The media & politics have robbed me of the news & I love the news. I actually still get a paper newspaper but I don't read much of it. It's Albuquerque, a new murder or two every day, ho hum! Sorry but it's the truth. And national news...I've been done for awhile. Cut yourself some slack sweet one, be a mom, be a're still a daughter & a sister & an awesome one but don't give us a thought. I'm retired, tons of time on my hands & you're painting, quilting, cross stitching...I'm a slug! Live your life you can't change "Lyn's" by blogging but when you do we enjoy it. See, you posted this a month ago & I'm just now seeing it. I applaud you, I cheer you!


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