In today's news, a famous British sportsman, Ian Botham gave an interview in which he talks about his father's dementia and his decision to stop visiting his father months before his father died. He states that it was horrendous to see his father's diminished capacity and behavior changes as a result of Alzheimer's. He asks that no one judges him unless they've been in his shoes.
Lyn's not violent. She can be a brat. Lyn's capacity is diminishing on a daily basis but she's not yet "a shell" of a person. It is painful to see the changes some days. Her care is sometimes a heavy burden for Mom. The changes in her are definitely having an emotional impact on us all.
Mr. Botham's father passed in 2005. It is my hope that the care we provide dementia patients has improved some as our understanding of their experiences is improved. His father's violence would be traumatic to experience. His father was in a nursing home and being tended to by the staff there. However, I'm not sure, even then, that I could just walk away and have no more contact with my loved one. The thought of that just seems like abandonment to me.