Friday, December 19, 2014

Unexpected Interruptions

We've had a few unexpected interruptions this week.

First, my household was hit with the flu and a secondary, flu-like virus despite flu vaccines being received earlier this fall.  It knocked us for a bit of a loop and I'm just now able to string multiple sentences together again semi-coherently.

Second, we were treated to an infrequent example of my sister's malicious streak.  She apparently decided to express her displeasure at the respite provider by telling another client of the provider that he shouldn't work with her anymore.  (They attend the same day hab which is now they know each other.)  The other client told the respite provider who contacted Mom.  To say Mom was angry is an understatement.  It is just so wrong to go after someone's livelihood.  Yes, people with Alzheimer's can be that mean.  The mental governors which may stop them from expressing such ugliness are gone.  While the Alzheimer's is a factor, it cannot be used as an excuse and the behavior cannot be tolerated.

Lyn will have no respite care until January at the earliest.  Mom and the respite provider would like to have a conversation to sort things out but both would like to get through the holidays first.  Apologies have been made to the respite provider.  However, the whole episode has revealed a couple of things.

The respite provider had been making plans with Lyn with the expectation that Lyn could properly convey them to Mom.  Lyn cannot retain even one bowling score between the drive from the alley to home which is less than 30 minutes.  The respite provide had not fully understood that Lyn cannot retain any plans for a day or two on her own.  She requires constant reiteration of plans by Mom or others around her.  If Lyn thinks the plan for the day is A and it turns out to be B, she cannot adjust.  There is no flexibility.  All of this has factored in and led to miscommunications and anger.

I don't know if this respite provider will continue to work with Lyn.  I suppose it is a possibility but we'll have to see what comes of the conversation to be had after the New Year.

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