Wednesday, February 10, 2016

In Memoriam for a Friend's Mom

A year or so ago, I was fortunate to meet a lady who a mutual acquaintance was confident we would find something in common.  Oh was she right.  We went to lunch and bonded over a love of crochet and a shared sense of gallows humor.  We also found that we both had immediate relatives with Alzheimer's.  Her Mom had been diagnosed with dementia a relatively short time before we were introduced.

Since that delightful lunch, we've shared updates on her mother and my sister.  We've found we both had a pragmatic approach to their care, acknowledging the terminal nature of the disease and the care required.  Her mother's health was much more complicated than Lyn's and she's progressed very quickly.  

Her mother had been living with my friend's Aunt.  They had been planning to place her in a nursing home when they realized it wouldn't be long before she died.  Hospice was called in and my friend was able to attend directly to her Mom's final days.  She passed yesterday morning.

My friend indicates her death was peaceful.  She and her Aunt had been unified in the care approach for her Mom during her failing health.  They are also unified in their plans for her memorial.  They both agreed that the celebration of her mother's life would involve a bonfire on the beach with those who knew her.

As they gather to honor her, I hope they find happiness and comfort in each other and in their memories.  I hope my friend and her Aunt rest easily knowing they provided her mother with great care.  

It may seem odd to say, but when I received word of this lady's passing, I was happy for them all.  Her mother is no longer in pain or confused.  My friend and her aunt have closure and can move forward. They had long ago accepted the reality of the situation and, while they may grieve, they are not wracked with grief.  It was expected.  It was peaceful.  

3 comments:

  1. So beautiful. Thank you.

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    1. I can't be there to give you a hug or toss a log on the bonfire but I can share my thoughts and let you know that you are in them.

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  2. Your last paragraph is so lovely. Bucketloads of love to you and your Aunt, Terie.

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