Proud of Mom
I'm very proud of Mom and how she's been handling Lyn's dementia. She's adding resources for her own care in addition to attending Lyn's needs.
She's started attending a support group for care providers of individuals with dementia. There were about 20 attendees and the facilitator. Mom was not the only first-time attendee. She was the youngest. Several attendees have been coming to the group for years.
The facilitator described dementia and the brain as a movie reel. At the start of a person's life, there is little on the movie reel. As the person goes through life, the movie reel gets longer and longer. When dementia kicks in, the movie deteriorates in reverse. The newest memories and people on the film are the first to be lost. The last in the family to come along is the first to be lost. The newest skill is the first to the lost. The movie unwinds until the person has no more film, no more memories.
One of the suggestions Mom took away from the support group was to lie to the disease and not the person. For example, if the individual is in a nursing home and starts asking "When can I go home?" a technique to use is to say "We will discuss going home when the doctor says you are ready." In other words, don't say "You can't go home." Instead, blame it on the doctor.
Another suggestion, this from the facilitator, is to not speak about the loved one with dementia around the loved one. It will confuse them.
Mom says it was very interesting to hear all the different stories. The scenarios may have had differences, but they were much the same. While the other attendees were older and their loved ones were their spouses and partners or parents, the stories still resonated with Mom in her care of Lyn. Mom felt welcome and open to communicating with the other attendees.
She says "When I came out of there I was feeling upbeat. I'm going back to the next meeting!"
She's started attending a support group for care providers of individuals with dementia. There were about 20 attendees and the facilitator. Mom was not the only first-time attendee. She was the youngest. Several attendees have been coming to the group for years.
The facilitator described dementia and the brain as a movie reel. At the start of a person's life, there is little on the movie reel. As the person goes through life, the movie reel gets longer and longer. When dementia kicks in, the movie deteriorates in reverse. The newest memories and people on the film are the first to be lost. The last in the family to come along is the first to be lost. The newest skill is the first to the lost. The movie unwinds until the person has no more film, no more memories.
One of the suggestions Mom took away from the support group was to lie to the disease and not the person. For example, if the individual is in a nursing home and starts asking "When can I go home?" a technique to use is to say "We will discuss going home when the doctor says you are ready." In other words, don't say "You can't go home." Instead, blame it on the doctor.
Another suggestion, this from the facilitator, is to not speak about the loved one with dementia around the loved one. It will confuse them.
Mom says it was very interesting to hear all the different stories. The scenarios may have had differences, but they were much the same. While the other attendees were older and their loved ones were their spouses and partners or parents, the stories still resonated with Mom in her care of Lyn. Mom felt welcome and open to communicating with the other attendees.
She says "When I came out of there I was feeling upbeat. I'm going back to the next meeting!"
I can see how helpful a support group would be!
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