Not Saying Goodbye

Lyn hates goodbyes.  She refuses to say them to us.  She used to cry when taking us to the airports but would wait until we got out of the car.  It became too hard on her to go to the airport and we stopped taking her.  When we started having to rent a car, we could just drive ourselves and this helped ease our transition out of the house for her.

This year, we noticed that her upset at our pending departure came earlier than previous years.  My family had a staggered departure due to work issues.  My husband had to leave mid-week.  My youngest and I returned on the weekend and my eldest stayed for an extra week.  She cried the day before my husband left.  She cried the day before my youngest and I flew out.  She cried the day before my eldest flew out.

She cries a lot of days.  She cries when she's tired or angry or just confused.  If next year's visit needs a staggered set of departures, would I reconsider to ease the tears?  I don't know.  A year from now is a long time and a lot of change can happen with an Alzheimer's patient in that time.

I hate that we cause her tears but so much does.  We cannot walk on eggshells to prevent it.  As long as we think the visits are good for Mom and or Lyn, we'll continue them.  So, I can't see that we'll stop the visits though it is reality that we'll have to continue to make adjustments as we go.


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