Sorting out Ethnicity
Lyn is very excited that we will be visiting next month. She's counting down the days. I think our pending visit got her thinking about my little one in such a way that she got stuck trying to figure out kiddo's ethnicity. My husband and I adopted our youngest after several years of fostering when reunification with the birth family was impossible. Our child is of a different ethnicity than the rest of our household.
She asked if my child is "Black Hungarian" which made us chuckle. Lyn's logic, as she explained it to me, goes like this: There is a man at day hab who answers the phones. He is black. (My child) has black, curly hair. My husband half Hungarian. Therefore, is (my child) Black Hungarian?
Her logic made me smile. She's just trying to make a connection to something familiar to help her understand my child's history. My child is Hispanic and spoke nearly no English when placed with us. My child's hair is black and curly and kiddo's skin is significantly darker than ours. My child has also started to notice these differences. So, we told Lyn some of what we tell our child.
Kiddo's has Hungarian and Spanish names because both play a role in this child's identity. Kiddo's hair, eyes and skin are dark because both birth parents are from Mexico. Kiddo is our child because we cannot picture our family any other way. Mom is kiddo's Grandma and Lyn is kiddo's Aunt just as they are to my eldest. She agrees that's all that matters.