Making Decisions is Hard

Mom put down her thoughts about Lyn's struggle with decision making Friday afternoon:

For some, reason Lyn was very fragile this afternoon.  I think it was a combination of being tired, allergies and a worry about tonight's activities.  Since there was no Merry Makers, the respite provider said perhaps they, she, Lyn & another client, would go eat then to a movie.  While she goes to a movie once week with day hab, it is not a favorite activity.  I asked what movie she saw but she didn't remember the name or what it was about.  I asked her if she liked it and she said she did.  

I think she began thinking about another movie tonight and she couldn't handle that.  I told her she needed to tell her respite provider she didn't want to go to a movie and she said she would.  I doubt she would be able to do that because she wants to please everyone.  I said all she had to do was speak up and no one would be mad at her.  "Yes, I know."  But she wouldn't and I know that.  

The tears started flowing while were were on the Interstate.  I asked what was wrong.  Then, I asked if she wanted to stay home tonight.  "Yes"  She is tired but it's more than just that.  I don't think she's able to really tell me what's wrong and is open to suggestions.  

It doesn't matter really what is upsetting her because my job is to protect her at all costs.  If that means keeping her home I'll do that.  If it means suggesting she's tired, I'll do that.  If it means suggesting she just play with Nikka, I will do that as I did.  I see the relief when I make such suggestions because she isn't able to make decisions as she previously did.  She can make decisions if they are very simple, rudimentary.  

It seems to me that in this area she has regressed so very much.  She seems relieved when I make these decisions but she's not aware of this change.  Nor would she be.  Yet, herein lies the contradiction of your sister.  She is still able to tell someone what to do if they aren't feeling good or she can tell someone the best way to clean a carpet that a dog has stained.  But she can't tell someone if she doesn't want to do what they suggest.


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