Happy Mother's Day Encore

I propose that Mom gets recognized for both parental days of the year.  She has been a single parent since 1978 and really tried to be as comprehensive a parent as possible.

We never really celebrated Father's Day because after the divorce, our father did his best to disappear into the ethers.  The day was somewhat of a painful one for me and, I suspect, our brother.  For Lyn, it was just another day.  It has passed her unremarked each year.  She may say "Happy Father's Day" to my husband during my Skype session with her this afternoon.  She may not.  It is hard to say.  He's a good father and she'll be quick to say so if she realizes it is Father's Day.  However, she won't apply it to herself.

In 1996, I briefly re-established contact with our father.  I met him and spent a little time with him.  There were a series of letters and phone calls between us.  When Lyn became aware of this, it caused her great agitation.  She wanted nothing to do with him and was actually afraid of meeting him.  She didn't want him to contact her the way he was in contact with me.  We had to promise to not tell him how to reach her or to speak about him around her in order for her to calm down about it.  Her fear originated from confusion.  She didn't understand who he was, why he was gone or what he wanted in communicating with me.  She didn't understand why I might have wanted contact with him, either.  So, we promised her she never had to speak with or meet him.  Not long thereafter, the attempted building of a relationship between my father and me ended in spectacular failure.  I've never spoken to him again.

I know my aborted attempt at a relationship was painful for Mom to witness.  He had abandoned us after all.  I know the fall out with Lyn over the attempt was also painful.  I was so sad to see her scared and confused over someone with whom she had no contact.  Mom calmed Lyn down and patiently waited for me to have the understanding about my father that she knew was coming.  She knew he would make false promises and have no follow through.  She knew he would rely upon charm.  She let me experience and decide for myself about him.  It was painful for us all; but it was the right thing for her to do and I appreciate her for it.

I cannot spell out all the reasons I appreciate my Mother.  They really are that numerous.  Ultimately, what matters is that she's our Mom and she's loved us like no other person has.  She's stuck with us and supported us and continues to give her all even now.  She's my measure of what it takes to be a great parent.

So, forgive me.  I'm going to honor my Mom today while you honor your father.

Thank you, Mom.


  1. As I feel you should. She really has done it all. Great post, Steph!!!


Post a Comment

Popular Posts