A Grandma's Response

I thought I'd share with you the note Mom sent my oldest child in response to my post about Grief and Children:

Sweet, compassionate, understanding, funny, caring, intelligent, loving, kind hearted.  What are all these words about?  You.  Why do I say this?  First of all, because it's true and I love you.

I know you are sad about the changes happening to Aunt Lyn's brain and I am too.  A long time ago I was mad, very mad, at God.  It isn't fair that she's mentally challenged.  It isn't fair that I had to deal with her being different from her siblings.  But after a while I wasn't mad at Him any more because I began to realize how much she offered.  God has a plan for each one of us  We don't always know what the plan might be but it's there.  I believe His plan for Aunt Lyn was for her to teach me many lessons.  Yes, she has taught lessons.

She taught me to be patient.  She taught me to look at nature's beauty.  She really couldn't talk till she was about 5 yrs old.  But each evening she would come get me and make me step outside or go to her bedroom window.  She would be so excited and say "mama mama mama" and point to the horizon.  She wanted me to see the beautiful sunset and all it's colors  She still points it out most nights and tells me "God did that."  Unfortunately we get busy and don't stop and appreciate the beauty around us.

She taught me how to see life as it is and not make it complicated.  The day our home burned, as we pulled away from the rubble, she patted me on the shoulder and said "at least you don't have to clean house tomorrow."  I realized she was 100% right, my children were safe.  Nothing else mattered

She taught me to see people for what they are.  To see their heart.  She doesn't have the prejudices most adults have.

I want you to know how much joy and love you have given her and because of that given me.  From the time you were a baby she was so excited to have you in the family.  She loved playing with you when we came for your 1st birthday.  Each year, when we come to visit she loves seeing how you had grown.  When you came to visit, especially this year, you made her laugh and helped her play on the computer. You were silly and entertained her so much.  She still is telling people about your visit.  She loves you very much, as I do.  Do you know what she thought was the funniest?  When you came down the hall into the living room crawling like a spider.  She was laughing till tears ran down her cheeks.  Thank you

While it's somewhat frightening seeing her change I don't want you to dwell on it.  She's safe, happy and busy with her activities.  I'll do everything I can to keep her that way.  God will give me the strength I need.  What I want you to do is just be you.  I know you love your Aunt Lyn and she loves you.  She doesn't want you sad.  Focus on school.  Focus on Lego League.  Focus on being a 10 year old kid

I love you so much and that loves grows all the time.  Thank you for your love and concern for Aunt Lyn.  Please remember, your parents and I will always be here for you to talk to about this or anything else

I love you, thank you and want you to know how I appreciate you.



  1. This is pretty powerful. I don't know your mother, but I'd like too.

  2. Thank you for the comment, Lauren. Even my husband says Mom is "one very special lady."

  3. Thank you Lauren. I'm just a regular mom/grandma who loves her children & grandchildren. Just trying to do my best with what I have and what I know.


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